“I’d like to wrongfully say “beat the sh*t out of her”, but fortunately you wouldn’t get away with it. Instead, do everyone a good service, just toss her out, she’s an abusive parasite and doesn’t deserve any husband. “
“One father reported that every time a fight started, he would say to his adolescents, “You’re fighting. I’m leaving.” And then he would go out to work in the yard or take a drive or run an errand — but he simply walked away from the fighting. A mother used a similar tactic. When the fighting began, she said, “Call me when it’s over.” Then she went to her bedroom, slamming the door to emphasize her point. Another parent made his adolescents leave the house when they began fighting. ”
In each of these cases, the parents, adolescents demonstrated that their ongoing fighting would not get their attention and they would not get involved in the fight.
Do not hesitate to Remove yourself from the problem behavioral person, or remove the root cause of the problem child , adult
The angered people tend to jump to-and act on-conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you’re in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering. Listen, too, to what is underlying cause of your anger. It’s natural to get defensive when you’re criticized, but don’t fight back. Instead, listen to what’s underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don’t let your anger-or a partner’s-let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.
Instead of doing nothing, which postpones the inevitable anyway. Seek, get sound advice, the valid opinion of others too. Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn’t come right away. If you can approach the conflicts, fight it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.
Remember, you can’t eliminate anger-and it wouldn’t be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can’t change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling effectively your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run.
Negative Results of unchecked Sibling Rivalry or Sibling Abuse :
Thousands of adult survivors of sibling abuse can readily tell of the far-reaching negative effects that such unchecked behavior has had on them as children and even as adults. For instance, one person, reflecting back on their relationship with a brother wrote: “I believed EVERYTHING my brother told me. Even if it was lies to make himself look better. Children and adults often still do wrongfully abuse a brother or sister to falsely try to gain power and control.
Hey it is just classical psychology that If you notice the following warning signs in a person over a period of time, the potential for increased unacceptable physical violence by them next also exists:
a history of aggressive, abnormal, offensive behavior
serious drug or alcohol abuse
gang membership or strong desire to be accepted by the gang, to be in a gang
threatening others regularly
trouble controlling feelings like anger
withdrawal from good friends and from the normal, usual, acceptable activities
visibly feeling rejected or alone
having been a victim of bullying, or now being a bully themselves
poor school or job performance
history of discipline problems or frequent run-ins with authority
feeling constantly disrespected
failing to acknowledge the feelings rights of others
or failing to acknowledge the abuse of others
access to or fascination with weapons, especially guns
When you recognize these unacceptable future increased violence warning signs in someone else deal with it. Hoping that someone else will deal with the situation is still false way out.
Be safe. Don’t spend time alone with people who show any of these warning signs and remove the person from the situation that’s setting them off.
The most important thing to remember is don’t go it alone. Expose the matter to others as well.
Even verbal abuse left unchecked, unrestrained next tends to escalate and leads to real, unacceptable physical abuses.
11 Tips for Coping with Personal unresolved Stress
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
The prayers of Saint Francis of Assisi
1. First Concentrate on the present. You cannot change the past, but you can work on having a better future
Don’t needlessly, continually dwell on the past or worry about a future you cannot control. Have a positive and not a a negative, defeatist attitude now as well
2. Consider, Admit and deal with your past, present problems one at a time. First personally define, Write down those things that Bother you, do Number them, and do decide what you can and cannot do abut them too . Prioritize as well Decide which ones are still important and which ones are no longer important to deal with.
If there are lots of items you want to change, start by focusing on one or two of the most bothersome or dangerous ones. Don’t try to make too many changes all at once. Don’t merely lump your complaints, problems together, it can make them seem overwhelming.
Anger and aggression are different. Anger is a temporary emotional state caused by frustration; while aggression is often an attempt to hurt a person or to destroy property.
Anger and aggression do not have to be dirty words. We must be careful to tell the difference between behavior that indicates emotional problems and behavior that is normal. Convert aggression to assertiveness, actions done in love as well.
3. Take positive action. Do review all of your options, such as writing a letter of complaint to the right party, in detail reporting the matter so you do not have to have it repeated on you.
Make sure you have realistic expectations, goals, approaches too. Once you’ve decided what you want to do about a problem, act consistently quickly , firmly and follow up on it too.
4. Don’t merely complain about your problems . Continually complaining is wasteful, and seriously for a stat don’t expect only others alone to resolve them, deal with them yourself .
Talk things over with your family and good friends. Look for the positive, possible, practical solutions.
5. Occupy yourself and your mind. Determine what you can and cannot do, how much time you should spend on it, also do go on with your life
Social interaction, alternative activities can help during a time of stress by not continually focusing on the problem
6. Don’t just blame the other people for your problems and their failure at Resolving them – be an active part of the solution yourself if need be
Frustrated hostility will accomplish nothing and can only make and feel worse.
7. Exercise every day.
Go for a walk and concentrate on your surroundings instead of just on your problems.
8. Maintain a daily routine. even if you are unemployed, retired, but do not get into a continual rut as well
I have often helped many a poor, depressed person, not by any medications, but by simply by changing their daily normal activity routine, and next by taking them for a drive into the country, or taking them to see a good film, a comedy, or Giving them some good movies to watch, or by me taking them to a fine food restaurant, or by me taking them for a long walk through unfamiliar surroundings.. and it worked.. it actually next had broke them out of their long term depression.
Can’t change positively the person? try first changing their surroundings, environment temporarily?
A familiar pattern of daily activates can decrease stress and increase your sense of security. Be willing to make a change once a while as well.
9. Avoid taking your problems to bed. Try to forgive and forget.
Clear your mind of the days thoughts so you can get a good night sleep.
10. Talk to your adequate health care provider, helper. Pick and choose, for remember there are still good and bad professionals.
She/he can help you find the right agency or person(s) to assist you in coping with stress.
With God on your side you will always be a winner
St. Francis of Assisi’s prayer in praise of God
You are holy, Lord, the only God,
and Your deeds are wonderful.
You are strong.
You are great.
You are the Most High.
You are Almighty.
You, Holy Father are King of heaven and earth.
You are Three and One, Lord God, all Good.
You are Good, all Good, supreme Good,
Lord God, living and true.
You are love. You are wisdom.
You are humility. You are endurance.
You are rest. You are peace.
You are joy and gladness.
You are justice and moderation.
You are all our riches, and You suffice for us.
You are beauty.
You are gentleness.
You are our protector.
You are our guardian and defender.
You are our courage. You are our haven and our hope.
You are our faith, our great consolation.
You are our eternal life, Great and Wonderful Lord,
God Almighty, Merciful Saviour.